stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
