I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
