He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
