Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
