The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize