didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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