i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Farmville is her only friend.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you made out with another girl for some wings
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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