My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
