Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
