craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
