come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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