I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
