he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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