you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
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the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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