FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
