The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
