So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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