Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize