Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
