it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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