Just fell off a train. Bad.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're a waste of cheezeits
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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