i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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