what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found the puke drawer
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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