You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
