The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
