How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
