She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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