broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
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Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
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you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
as a side note pls kill me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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