i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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