Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
