I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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