Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
