I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
