so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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