I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
