i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Alive.
So much puke
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
