Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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