guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
