i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
PANTIES FOUND
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