Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
