someone threw a dead crab at me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..