Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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