I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
