i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
