I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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