He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize