The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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