just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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