WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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