dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
