This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have post one night stand depression
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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