Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
