my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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