this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
