Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
