oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize