Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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