Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
