she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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