I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
