fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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