Ambien. No doubt about it.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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