Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
