Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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