one might say we're banned from that church
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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